Wednesday, September 16, 2009

MY FRIEND

MY FRIEND ,My FRIEND, words from my new friend
Is always so kind
Always looking out for me...
Joking and laughing,
And putting that smile on my face.
Making me forget my past and pain.
Telling me to continue on..
Knowing the woman that I was once was...
If I didn't have you my dear friend today,
I really don't know where I would be today,
with out any friends..
I wish people would learn what a true friend,
is by looking at you my friend !

My TIME !

Feeling the pain today knowing what I need to do.



Knowing I did all I can to keep my son and I safe


So tried of running from this monster games.
Everything scares me ,Even if it has nothing to do with him.
How can someone live like this?
I cant take living in this fear one more day
I keep trying to move myself on and when I do there is always
Something that just breaks me down..
My writing helps me,yes it does..
But does it keep me in this past dark world of horror
That this monster kept me to all himself?
I am trying to let myself free from this monster and if I keep hanging on
Is it going to be him that going to get me ?or its going to be my head...?
I need to put all this pain to rest and put this monster in Gods hands...


As God will handle things in his own times and heal me in time.


if I don't take trust in my God and fall behind.. I will just end my time..
because its just getting to that time, I need to just get it out of my mind ,
before it destroys the rest of my sons and my time.

To Late,No turning back..

Keeping it all in ,not telling a soul

Look where it got me .only later letting little pieces out .

One by one,feeling so ashamed because it has gotten so out of hand.

That no one would believe that this could be really happen.

But it was slowly happening, but I thought I could handle it all my self.

When I started complaining people listen, and it seem that they just didn't want to hear it.

Was it that they didn't want to believe or put their hand out to help.

Everyone has advice but its not that I don't want to do it,,

Its that I need to be taken by the hand at times cause Ive been beaten down so many times.

Because if I was able to do it alone I would of done it alone already..

I sat in front of the police station wanted to walk in to tell my story many of times.

And when at the hospital, been asked over and over and just was too afraid but I almost told ...but he realize

And that when he got wise....

So that's why I'm sharing my story...The man I trusted and Loved that became this monster got scared and set me up .... and turn the table on me... so if it wasn't for me being wise taken pictures with my phone and keeping all dates and family and support I would of been serving time. as this man is walking the streets now..



so you see report everything that happens to you ..And don't feel that you are being a Rat.



it will only keep you safe.



In his sick mind he still feel he has done no wrong to me, but if he ever gets off the drugs he might see what he has done when he realize he lost his family.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

THE COWBOY

The Cowboy

Tall thin man leaning on the wall

Trying to blend in the wall

Trying not to let me see his face

Tilting his hat down

At just the right angle just right so I don't see his eyes

Letting me know he is there just like the time before.

Getting his message across ,trying to put in that fear

But if he only knew if he showed his eyes.

I would look him in the eyes and asked him why ?

Let him know I know why, he was the Guy that took my picture

In the park that day.....

And I'm On to him watching me, be ready and smile....

No turning back to his game....



He just doesn't want to let me go

Just like how he holds on to his drugs, I don't know why.

He doesn't love me as he doesn't know what love is..

In his mind he still doesn't understand that he lost me and why..

He lives in the house all alone and just getting high with his so called new friends.

Keeping my pictures up on the wall and pretending to have that family,

Thinking that they just might walk back threw those doors one day again..

He can continue to smoke his drugs till the end....

Because we are never turning back to his game....