The Lady's that came to my aid

Walking in ,not a sound only the sound of my shoes on the wooden floor...
Walking by the man I fear..
But with my head high and no longer can he make me Fear Everything And Run from him.
The Lady's that came to my aid, and touched my shoulder and told me its OK..
 I was able to tell my story of my prince and I.
Feeling and knowing what I have gone threw.
Led me threw the doors to day,with my angels holding me up by there wings.
So I can be a voice for my little prince and I...
My ladies a lot like me ,prepared me for what I needed to face, and I am so grateful to know that I am not Alone no more with this horrible past.
 Now I feel free in letting this pain out that I felt so shameful for ,
 Its OK to share my life so no one would have to feel the pain as my prince and I had.....

LOOKING AT HER YOU WOULD NEVER KNOW!

lQQKING AT HER YOU WOULD NEVER KNOW!

Looking at her you would never know,

So much life and laughter and love how would how would you know ?

Slowly so much life and laughter and love is being taking from her .

Being so brave, and strong girl

She is and holding that puzzle together trying so hard not to let it fall apart.

You would never know that it was being pulled right from her hands and rip right out from under her.

Her silent cries and no one hears her.

No one listens, no one cares.

Is it my fault that I am this little girl,and I couldn't hold this puzzle any more.

I did my best, did I make a mistake not being loud enough.

But why do I have to pay for this?

The little girl is screaming inside pleading for help, and no one hears me or her.

Trapped and no place to go, and I can not protect my little prince no more.

I pray to my God to hear me and help me,to give me strength and courage to find my

chance to flee.

And when I do in the middle of no where, no one hears me ,holding on tight to the gate, fearing for my life.

Not being able to breath or see no more.

Not knowing where I am,

Falling to the ground giving in,

I can not take no more,

My silence just broke me in half,

When someone that I teach my child to trust and Respects takes me away....

My child knowing all what we had pulled out from under us... How can he feel safe comming home to this Man.........

ALMOST BUT DIDNT

Almost but didn't.

In the hospital, feeling the pain.

rush down for more testing.

and with the IV

a warm feeling

going in my body rushing threw my veins.

the feelings of letting everything go.

all my worries, all my pain,

everything in my mind release.

what a feeling,

a feeling of letting go,

and not coming back...

Crashing

and then hearing my name being called...

I don't want to come back!

not to this painful world.....

Oh I wish I can go back to that peaceful world,

Why did you have to wake me up?....

Once Had

8/8/2009 Feelings of today is lost , Empty inside missing the man I once Loved. Where is he? inside his bottle of Bud, drinking his life away. Taking a Pill a day. Forgetting all we ever had. What ever happen? The man that I met had so much strength. And the man I see now, weaken by the pills, and bottle. Destroying his life piece by piece, from each sip of the bottle and each pill he takes into his body . He dissolves slowly to a stranger that i will never know. I choose to never know this stranger of pills, and of a bottle as it only causes pain to the ones you Love. So my feeling of Lost is only gratitude that it is not me today sorrowing in my self pity today!